What Chekhov said

Нет того урода, который не нашел бы себе пары, и нет той чепухи, которая не нашла бы себе подходящего читателя.

There is no such freak that would not find his match and there is no such rot that would not find itself a matching reader.

Snore Amplifier

I am sure, I am not the only one who, having woken up in the middle of the night for some internal or external reason, was unable to go back to sleep because of that well too familiar roaring sound coming from the nearby pillow. Sounds familiar? Then what you need is the anti-snore device called Snore Amplifier. Attach your mic to a pair of little headphones and the next time your other half starts to snore simply bring the latter to his/her mouth/nose while increasing the volume. Hmmm, perhaps, keeping the headphones in his/her ears is the tricky bit…
Note from DAD: Perhaps the entire contrivance could be secured in place with straps before dozing off.
Note from Gordon: What’s your problem? Just go sleep in the garden!