To welcome you to the world of the distorted reality of small translation difficulties, ladies and gentlemen,
here are a riddle:
What has two ends, two rings and a nail in the middle?
(The correct answer will follow in due course.)
and a saying:
The mean pay twice.
We often hear these days of the perils of obesity and that everyone needs to take more exercise. High tech solutions have been proposed to limit the rate at which people can eat, but here is a simple and cheap way to keep the waste line under control.
Fix your fork to the table with a short stout piece of elastic. Struggling to pull the fork to your mouth will not only slow down the rate of eating, but also provide invaluable exercise which is proportional to the amount of food consumed.
I am sure, I am not the only one who, having woken up in the middle of the night for some internal or external reason, was unable to go back to sleep because of that well too familiar roaring sound coming from the nearby pillow. Sounds familiar? Then what you need is the anti-snore device called Snore Amplifier. Attach your mic to a pair of little headphones and the next time your other half starts to snore simply bring the latter to his/her mouth/nose while increasing the volume. Hmmm, perhaps, keeping the headphones in his/her ears is the tricky bit…
Note from DAD: Perhaps the entire contrivance could be secured in place with straps before dozing off.
Note from Gordon: What’s your problem? Just go sleep in the garden!